GET AHEAD
D.B LST U3 2022
Introduction
Your clocks, watches, and phones? Irrelevant. Get Ahead(TM), and get started on a ground-breaking time telling device, conducted with permission from LST U3, who has funded FORGENSEN INDUSTRIES studies on the subject, allowing us to research the significance of the time in all sorts of forms, and deciding which works best for us in these times. In our funded research, we learned about the functions of sundials, longitude and latitude of Earth, the study of arc angles and lengths utilizing the sun, and we were even granted an audience with an astrologer that had a delightful amount of information on space and time. Then we were tasked with designing our own functional time-telling device.
I say time-telling device instead of clock, since in some cases it's not exactly our traditional idea on what we define as a time-telling device. In this case scenario, FORGENSEN INDUSTRIES has developed a product that creates the illusion of no traditional clock at first glance. Below you'll find a masterpiece (hypothetical) product composed with the funding from LST U3 and FORGENSEN INDUSTRIES genius intellect combined, I present to you:
AHEAD (TM)
TRANSCRIPT:
I’M BORG FORGENSEN, OWNER OF FORGENSEN INDUSTRIES, HERE WITH A INNOVATIVE NEW PRODUCT DESIGNED FORR YEEEEEWWWW
HAVE YEEWWWW EVER WANTED A BRAAND NEW CLOCK THAT LETS YOU GET AHEAD OF YOUR FRIENDS IN THA HOOOOT HOT HOT TOPIC OF HOW YYEEEEEEWWWW MEASURE YOUR TIME?
WELL DO I HAVE THE SOLUTION FOR YEEEEEEEEEEEEW
FORGENSEN INDUSTRIES PRESENTS:
AHEAD!
NOT A HEAD! NO, WELL, IT IS A HEAD, BUT IT’S ALSO AHEAD! AHEAD OF TIME! AHEAD OF YOUR FRIEND’S ABILITIES TO EVEN COMPREHEND YOUR TASTE IN TIME MEASURING DEVICES.
AHEAD ALLOWS YEEEWWW TO GROW A BETTER SENSE A TIME, AND ALSO A LUSCIOUS SET OF COLORFUL HAIR!
NOW YEWWW MAY BE WONDERING WHAT THE RELEVANCY OF COLORS HAVE TAH DO WITH THIS PRODUCT.
THAT’S HOW WE MEASURE YER TIME YA GOOF!
THE MOMENT YA PLUG THIS BABY IN IT STARTS ON AN ALL-NATURALLY ARTIFICIAL HAIR GROWTH PLAN!(We advise you to plug this device in at the start of the month to avoid any complications in terms of measurement of time)
NOW INSTEAD OF HAVIN’ TAH MEASURE YER MONTHLY PLANS BY BORING OL’ DATES AND NUMBERS, JUST LOOK AT THA PRETTY COLORS!
WE TOOK THE IDEA OF A SILLY CANDLE CLOCK AND MADE IT BETTER! CANDLE CLOCKS ONLY LAST SO LONG, BUT YEW KNOW WHAT LASTS LONGER? A CANDLE CLOCK IN REVERSE! EXCEPT WITHOUT THE CANDLE! NOW.. NOW IT’S A HEAD! I MEAN AHEAD. OUR PRODUCT.
NOW YEWWW MAY BE THINKIN’, WHO’S THIS EVEN FOR? WHY WOULD I BUY AHEAD?
MAYBE YEEEWWW NEED A LITTLE POOSH FOR YER DEADLINES!! MAYBE A SILLY NUMBER AND DATE ON A CALENDAR AIN’T ENOUGH FOR YEEEWWW! MAYBE YEWW NEED A PRIMAL SENSE OF PANIC! SET YER PROJECTS AT THE END OF BLUE INSTEAD OF THE 31ST!
SO WHEN YEWW SEE THE BLEEEUWWW, IT CREATES THAT PRIMAL FEAR IN YEEEWW!
HAVE YEEWWWW EVER WANTED A BRAAND NEW CLOCK THAT LETS YOU GET AHEAD OF YOUR FRIENDS IN THA HOOOOT HOT HOT TOPIC OF HOW YYEEEEEEWWWW MEASURE YOUR TIME?
WELL DO I HAVE THE SOLUTION FOR YEEEEEEEEEEEEW
FORGENSEN INDUSTRIES PRESENTS:
AHEAD!
NOT A HEAD! NO, WELL, IT IS A HEAD, BUT IT’S ALSO AHEAD! AHEAD OF TIME! AHEAD OF YOUR FRIEND’S ABILITIES TO EVEN COMPREHEND YOUR TASTE IN TIME MEASURING DEVICES.
AHEAD ALLOWS YEEEWWW TO GROW A BETTER SENSE A TIME, AND ALSO A LUSCIOUS SET OF COLORFUL HAIR!
NOW YEWWW MAY BE WONDERING WHAT THE RELEVANCY OF COLORS HAVE TAH DO WITH THIS PRODUCT.
THAT’S HOW WE MEASURE YER TIME YA GOOF!
THE MOMENT YA PLUG THIS BABY IN IT STARTS ON AN ALL-NATURALLY ARTIFICIAL HAIR GROWTH PLAN!(We advise you to plug this device in at the start of the month to avoid any complications in terms of measurement of time)
NOW INSTEAD OF HAVIN’ TAH MEASURE YER MONTHLY PLANS BY BORING OL’ DATES AND NUMBERS, JUST LOOK AT THA PRETTY COLORS!
WE TOOK THE IDEA OF A SILLY CANDLE CLOCK AND MADE IT BETTER! CANDLE CLOCKS ONLY LAST SO LONG, BUT YEW KNOW WHAT LASTS LONGER? A CANDLE CLOCK IN REVERSE! EXCEPT WITHOUT THE CANDLE! NOW.. NOW IT’S A HEAD! I MEAN AHEAD. OUR PRODUCT.
NOW YEWWW MAY BE THINKIN’, WHO’S THIS EVEN FOR? WHY WOULD I BUY AHEAD?
MAYBE YEEEWWW NEED A LITTLE POOSH FOR YER DEADLINES!! MAYBE A SILLY NUMBER AND DATE ON A CALENDAR AIN’T ENOUGH FOR YEEEWWW! MAYBE YEWW NEED A PRIMAL SENSE OF PANIC! SET YER PROJECTS AT THE END OF BLUE INSTEAD OF THE 31ST!
SO WHEN YEWW SEE THE BLEEEUWWW, IT CREATES THAT PRIMAL FEAR IN YEEEWW!
OR MAYBE YEWW JUST DON’T LIKE KEEPIN’ TRACK OF DAYS AND WANT A FUN INDICATOR FOR ALL YER TIMEEE KEEPIN NEEEDS!
IT’S ALL FER YEEEEEWWWWWWW!
AND REMEMBER!
CAN’T GET AHEAD™ WITHOUT A HEAD!
Originally, the idea was simply to create a device that only measured time by the growth of hair, with no visual approaches that made it more reliable than simply having an artificial head that could grow hair. So then comes the idea of utilizing colors to display passing of time. This would be done by breaking it down into 12 different color hues, representing the 12 months of the year. Then the idea of how this hair would “grow” came from the simple mechanic of a favorite Mexican candy of mine that uses a manual piston to push out candy. Combine that with a code that adjusts the piston to push the hair strands through the shell of the head by 4/10th of an inch every 7 days and you’ve got a pretty neat time telling device that’s unique in its time telling aspect.
The device itself has its ancestors. It’s been compared to a candle clock, a time telling device that uses a candle’s wax melting as a way of measuring time more visually with time stamps for the melting points. The significant improvement from that design model, is that this one (mentioned before) has a reverse purpose than the candle clock. Ahead(TM) is designed to measure the long passing period of time, while a candle clock simply only serves the function of short periods of time.
As for traditional clocks, the model of Ahead(TM) is designed to measure time more visually than logistically to the eye. There are many models that share the same principle of displaying a passing of time visually, such as the candle clock or a sand timer. But there's flaws to these designs, as a sand timer or a candle clock aren't able to measure a long period of time without being structured to a massive scale, while simply displaying a visual representation of time through hair growth with colors creates a system that accomplishes both long and short periods of time measured.
If you’re the type of person that needs an interesting piece of decoration to talk about in your household, struggles to get deadlines due, or somebody that prefers to think of time more visually than numerically, then this is the product for you.
Maybe you wanna be a little different than other folk around on marking special dates in your life, and create an interesting piece of conversation on the idea of time through this piece of art. Maybe you and your family went to a really memorable baseball game halfway through GREEN. Now you can give it a funny name like something reminiscent of a particularly horrible punk rock band Green Day.
Pelon Pelo Rico, by Unknown (picture from amazon)
IT’S ALL FER YEEEEEWWWWWWW!
AND REMEMBER!
CAN’T GET AHEAD™ WITHOUT A HEAD!
FORGENSEN LEGAL OBLIGATION
Due to legal reasons, we are obligated to inform you on the mathematical process and rough sketches of our product. Below, you (FORGENSEN CUSTOMER#001) will find our required documentation on the creation of AHEAD(TM).
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| Anatomy of Ahead, DB 2022 |
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| Design of Ahead and Spectrum, DB 2022 |
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| Measurements of Ahead, DB 2022 |
Originally, the idea was simply to create a device that only measured time by the growth of hair, with no visual approaches that made it more reliable than simply having an artificial head that could grow hair. So then comes the idea of utilizing colors to display passing of time. This would be done by breaking it down into 12 different color hues, representing the 12 months of the year. Then the idea of how this hair would “grow” came from the simple mechanic of a favorite Mexican candy of mine that uses a manual piston to push out candy. Combine that with a code that adjusts the piston to push the hair strands through the shell of the head by 4/10th of an inch every 7 days and you’ve got a pretty neat time telling device that’s unique in its time telling aspect.
The device itself has its ancestors. It’s been compared to a candle clock, a time telling device that uses a candle’s wax melting as a way of measuring time more visually with time stamps for the melting points. The significant improvement from that design model, is that this one (mentioned before) has a reverse purpose than the candle clock. Ahead(TM) is designed to measure the long passing period of time, while a candle clock simply only serves the function of short periods of time.
As for traditional clocks, the model of Ahead(TM) is designed to measure time more visually than logistically to the eye. There are many models that share the same principle of displaying a passing of time visually, such as the candle clock or a sand timer. But there's flaws to these designs, as a sand timer or a candle clock aren't able to measure a long period of time without being structured to a massive scale, while simply displaying a visual representation of time through hair growth with colors creates a system that accomplishes both long and short periods of time measured.
If you’re the type of person that needs an interesting piece of decoration to talk about in your household, struggles to get deadlines due, or somebody that prefers to think of time more visually than numerically, then this is the product for you.
When you’ve got something that lets you get Ahead™ of yourself, you won’t be able to stop thinking about that personal deadline of yours in the form of colors, rather than days on a digital calendar presumably. Let’s say that you wanna get something done by the end of RED, and it's halfway through BLUE. Maybe you’ve forgotten, or you’re so caught up with life that you need a friendly reminder that lets you get Ahead™ of the deadline when you start seeing that RED peak through.
Maybe you wanna be a little different than other folk around on marking special dates in your life, and create an interesting piece of conversation on the idea of time through this piece of art. Maybe you and your family went to a really memorable baseball game halfway through GREEN. Now you can give it a funny name like something reminiscent of a particularly horrible punk rock band Green Day.
Pelon Pelo Rico, by Unknown (picture from amazon)
Not only does getting Ahead™ let you have a reliable new time-telling device in your home, an appealing piece of art, but it absolutely also allows for creative freedom in ways that can be applied in hilarious and innovative ways, something that emphasizes with the colorful artists of the world that are used to incorporating their own ideas into a structure that allows for it.
As for the mathematics, I simply decided to look up the average circumference of a human head, used that to "reverse engineer" my way to find the radius and diameter, then looking up the average measurement for the height of a human head. The calculations go as follows:
Volume: 354.9 in.
Circumference: 21.75 in.
Radius: 3.45 in.
Diameter: 6.9 in.
For the specific units of measurement, I simply prefer using inches over any other unit of measurement for these kind of things since I view them as my "comfort" unit. Looking at the equations written down on the head measurements, we can see a utilization of the pi symbol in order to find our necessary measurements. Not only that, but the actual shape of the head shares a circular shape, which was thoroughly explored in LST U3's focus on time, since one of the concepts of mathematics we looked into was arc angles and arc lengths, which can be branched into from the measurements pulled from the volume of the head, if the need for finding those specifics happened to occur.
As for the mathematics, I simply decided to look up the average circumference of a human head, used that to "reverse engineer" my way to find the radius and diameter, then looking up the average measurement for the height of a human head. The calculations go as follows:
Volume: 354.9 in.
Circumference: 21.75 in.
Radius: 3.45 in.
Diameter: 6.9 in.
For the specific units of measurement, I simply prefer using inches over any other unit of measurement for these kind of things since I view them as my "comfort" unit. Looking at the equations written down on the head measurements, we can see a utilization of the pi symbol in order to find our necessary measurements. Not only that, but the actual shape of the head shares a circular shape, which was thoroughly explored in LST U3's focus on time, since one of the concepts of mathematics we looked into was arc angles and arc lengths, which can be branched into from the measurements pulled from the volume of the head, if the need for finding those specifics happened to occur.
CONCLUSION
This unit, in comparison to the other two, felt a lot like a "blink and you'll miss it" kind of class. There's information you will need to know from the start that carries heavily into how we do mathematics in this class. If you forget what the longitude of GMT is, miss the exact degrees the sun changes on the Earth by the hour, or can't remember the m/s of gravity on Earth, the mathematics become gibberish. Luckily, there's the internet there to allow you a quick recovery from these vital pieces of information. But the moment you don't have these down mentally, it feels impossible to participate on assignments. Often, even the explanations on things I was confused about continued to confuse me more.
Not to say this was an impossible unit, because I eventually ended up catching myself on the details I needed. Nothing frustrates me more than not understanding the purpose to why we do something, why we put in these formulas to find an answer. The positive of these past three units, and especially this one, is that everything can make sense in this aspect of what we're doing and why we're doing it. It's started a little bit of a new-found love in the exploration of space and time for me. This is due to the fact that it rewards this curiosity, any question you have has already been pondered by someone else just as curious as you, and there's nothing more satisfying than finding the answer to a curiosity-fueled question.
Except dark matter. Still unsatisfied by that.
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