A Man's True Nature.
Introduction
Dear Daddy,
I know times have been tough for you right now, it’s gotta be hard having to be the man of the house all the time for us, but I ain’t gonna blame you for breaking down when things get tough. Mama and I, we don’t wanna lose this house, especially when it ‘cause someone told us to leave. Lynder got no love for our family, just wants to see us out of this neighborhood, he doesn’t care about the sweat and blood we poured into it, or the smile Grandma got on her face lookin’ at our new house, it’s been her dream and I know you don’t wanna take something like that from your own mama, you raised be better than to control others dreams. I wanna see us move into this house because it’s been a while since I last saw mama and you this happy, dancing about and singing like you’ve all just fallen in love again, it makes me feel safe. You once told me before, “Just tell me, what it is you want to be- and you’ll be it,” (Hansberry; 566, Act 2) Right now I wanna be a good brother, for mama’s sake, your sake, everyone’s sake, and this house will help me get there.
I know my Papa’s a family man that’ll do what he’s got to do to keep that smile on everyone’s faces, even when he can’t recognize it inside himself. Money has always been our problem, but I know you ain’t as in love with it as you put on to make it be, Papa. I saw the better of you, the slip ups that let me know you are still real and not with the same kinda folk that’ll abandon their family for some change. I even seen Grandma remind you who you are and what you gotta be to keep us tight, I overheard her tellin’ you,“I say I been wrong, son. That I been doing to you what the rest of the world been doing to you. Walter – what you ain’t never understood is that I ain’t got nothing, don’t own nothing, ain’t never really wanted nothing that wasn’t for you. . . . There ain’t nothing worth holding on to, money, dreams, nothing else – if it means – if it means it’s going to destroy my boy.... I’m telling you to be the head of this family from now on like you supposed to be.” (Hansberry; 565, Act 2) She pours that kind of love out for you because she sees you worth more than the money you make or the mistakes you made. You’re still her son, and you’re still my Papa, and I got that hope you’ll keep the house because mama and I know it ain’t worth losing.
If all this isn’t enough to convince you Papa, then when you take that money out of Linder’s hand, look him in the eyes and see if you see what I see. I hope you don’t see happiness where I see that pride they holding so hard onto, the kind that pushes us outta their neighborhood, into their mobs, and into their hate. You got to give the respect to your daddy that I give to you, and the last thing he would want is havin’ his blood and flesh bought by the angry white men after you gave the other half of him to a rat that ran off into a mouse trap. I heard mama call the happiness we saw in you the “rainbow after the rain,” and you always been fantasizing about how you’ll live high and mighty above with us when you get the money, but this money is the stop to that rainbow mama was talkin’ about-- it ain’t worth it.
Grandma believes you’re at her lowest, the worst you can do is dig further down Daddy, and I don’t wanna see how she’ll be if she sees you pushing yourself further into the dirt. She got that hope in you still, that glimmer. She told you “Have you cried for that boy today? I don’t mean for yourself and for the family ‘cause we lost the money. I mean for him: what he been through and what it done to him. Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most? When they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain’t through learning – because that ain’t the time at all. It’s when he’s at his lowest and can’t believe in hisself ‘cause the world done whipped him so” (Hansberry; 584, Act 3). This is my time to love you because I know that the world been beatin’ on you, but that don’t mean you won’t make the right choice in the end Papa.
I hope you understand now Papa that your family loves you more than you think, remember that when making this choice consider how mama will feel, think about our pride we take as a family, and think about grandma’s dream life, and not just yours. The future might be difficult right now, but don’t let that throw you off. Like you said before Papa, “Sometimes it’s hard to let the future begin!” (Hansberry; 574, Act 2)
Your Son,
Travis
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